Not So StarCrossed
by EdwardC.lover1201
Summary: Bella blurts out to Edward she loves him! what will happen ? does he love her back ? or are they not so star-crossed after all? one shot for now, if enough people like it, who knows? flamers welcome! btw, i love reviews!


**Totally not mine, it is Stephenie Meyer's! **

**I just toy with her characters. :D**

Yep, its official, life freaking SUCKS. I couldn't help thinking this as I looked searchingly into my best friend Edward's deep, dark green eyes looking for some response after just blurting out I loved him, not just a platonic love either as I have told him I loved him many times, but somehow it was different, It was meant as a deep, romantic "I love you ". I couldn't find a response in his eyes, his eyes just going blank.

I blurted it as I was pulling into our high school's parking lot in my big red pickup truck, old sturdy, and Edward's car being in the shop for the month, I mean it IS really his fault we ran into each other at the mall. . . But anyway, Edward and I are just sitting here, me with a teary look on my face I was sure, him with a look of well, actually I wasn't quite sure what expression was on his face, but I was fairly certain it was a look of pure shock hidden in the blank.

You're so stupid, Bella! I couldn't help chiding myself in my head as I broke eye contact, staring right in front of me. He could never ever love you in that way, he's the most sought after guy at school with his dashing good looks, and dangerous charm; being the captain of the football team doesn't hurt much either. And I'm just me, a total plain Jane with too big eyes and lips that are full and pouty.

I turned back to Edward then, shifty in my seat to fully face him. "You. . . Love me? You meant as a friend right? Like always?" My best friend and love asked as if he couldn't quite comprehend it. Well, he IS a bronze headed boy with natural blonde highlights. . . And, 6'1, tan, and totally gorgeous, ugh I can't even look at him, without going utterly crazy. Oh goodness, is that drool I feel coming out the side of my mouth?

I gulped, my eyes tearing up, blurring my vision, as I lost all remnants of whatever courage I had, had. "Oh, never mind!" I said backing up a little in my car seat getting ready to unbuckle, open the car door and jump out. As I turned to make a break for it out of my car, Edward grabbed my elbow, pulling me back to him gently, embracing my slim, compactable 5'9 body.

We just sat there in my car him holding me stroking my desperately in need of a haircut hair, stroking my dark brown locks from crown to tip, and me just crying for what seemed like an eternity even though it was honestly only a few minutes.

When I finally stopped crying, Edward looked me square in the eyes, my plain brown eyes burning from his lightning bolt like green eyes, the intensity sending shivers down my spine.

He broke eye contact then, being HIS turn to look straight ahead at the students all shuffling about on to their first period classes. I felt a pang of fear at how distant he was being, fearing that because he knows now he won't want to be my friend, I could live with the knowledge he didn't love me but not with living without him.

The bell rang then breaking both of us from our thoughts; Edward hopped out of the car then mumbling something about how we would talk later, and used his long lean legs to get him to his locker fairly fast.

I let out a long sigh and exited my car, hurrying to my locker fumbling with the combination, running very late. I grabbed my math book, and ran as fast as I could to my homeroom class. I was unfortunately late anyway and the substitute teacher that was in place of the actual teacher because my actual teacher Mrs. Turner was on maternity leave, the Sub. Looked down her long nose at me, her blue eyes laced with wrinkles saying she was annoyed. I mumbled a quick sorry and sat down in my seat, saying in what I thought was a low voice, startling the young man sitting next to me, "boys suck."

My math class, which I have right after homeroom, was ENDLESS. Math was already my worst subject, but add in heartbreak…? The math class seemed to go on forever! The math teacher stumbling over his words and a bunch of kids harassing him. I pretty much tuned that class out and paid attention to my own thoughts, being way more Important that the math lesson. Finally the bell rang.

Ugh. Time for science, I thought grimly for Edward shared my science class with me. HOW am I going to get through the next hour and a half?

-Hour and a half later -

Well, science was easy. Considering the fact he didn't even TALK to me, even though I passed notes and short of making obnoxious hand notions there was nothing I could do, I thought angrily, my shoes making loud noises as I walked to the cafeteria, tears falling down my face, enough to fill up an ocean, I was sure. NEVER in all my 16 years have had had I had my heart hurt so much, like it was being pierced by a million burning hot needles. Guess it is true, teenage dating (or crushes) really do freaking suck.

So I decided, like every other reasonable person in the world, to just ditch the rest of the day and just go home and bury myself down in my covers for the rest of my life. Thank goodness I insisted on driving today. Edward can find his own way home, for all I care.

I just don't think I can handle the rest of the day let alone a car ride alone with him. When I was in my car, I felt all the suckiness of the day well up inside me so I banged my head to my stirring wheel, screaming at the top of my lungs, feeling the frustration and heart ache of the day build up until I could take any more. Well, I thought determinedly, at least he knows now how I feel.

Driving to my suburban house was torture, every song that was on the radio reminding me of what happened, my mind racing through his and my childhood, us meeting when his family moved into the house next door, Edward Sr. and Elizabeth Mason when we were 5, and the time Edward and I got into a fight when were about 6 because he protected me from a bunch of older boys that got mad at me for being my usual sarcastic self.

Edward had protected me when one day I made them really angry; angry enough to try and beat me up. I wouldn't talk to him after he protected me and in the process breaking his own arm when one of the boys pushed me to the ground, Edward put his body undermine as to make sure I didn't get hurt on the blacktop. I was mad at myself for getting us into that mess and mad at him, for trying to protect me. I got over it though when Edward came into school after missing a week, with a bright orange neon cast; I was the first to sign it.

There was also the time when we were 13, when we shared a first, FIRST kiss between us. We had decided to just screw all the hype to a first kiss and just kiss there in my backyard underneath the big oak tree. So we did. It was just a quick peck on the lips but for me? That was it. THAT was when I realized that I loved him.

I sighed out loud my memory bringing a smile to my face. Why did we have to grow up? Being a kid and believing all boys had cooties was so much easier than dealing with raging teenage hormones and emotions. I sighed again louder, the tears now flowing at a gentler pace, down the sides of my face.

When I got home, I pulled into my drive way smiling for what felt like the first time today at the normalcy my blue/green home contained. The roses bush was in full bloom up against the front of the house, the shudders on the windows the same color red as the roses (thanks to my dad's color blindness and wanting to surprise my mom when she was away). I walked into my house and was accosted by my Newfoundland, Daffy, and my black lab, Fred. They gave me kisses to show how much they missed me, their wet tongues tasting the tears on my cheeks and adding more dampness to my already wet face.

"At least two people love me," I couldn't help saying out loud as I was being praised by my pets, "Even if they are only dogs." I let the dogs out then to do their business and when they were done, walked up the spiraling staircase up to my room. I paused half way through seeing the water color paintings hung on the beige walls by my mother, as if for the first time, the beauty of the painting stunning me for a moment. In the painting it has young lovers, kissing under the stars. While it was a beautiful painting it made my heartache even more. I continued on my path up to my room after studying the painting, I flipped on the light switch and saw how not everything would change. I laughed out loud at my messy room, clothes thrown all around, my walls covered in posters of movies, book, drawings I've done, stuff from my favorite bands. My own personal haven from the rest of the world, I went to my bed with satin black sheets and flopped right down the exhaustion from the day finally getting to me. So I did what any sane person in my position would do; I slept.

When I awoke after dreaming of singing toast – as I always do when I am upset – I was laying on my side facing the wall when I had the most peculiar feeling of being watched. Afraid it was a psycho murderer; I shut my eyes as tight as I could and grabbed the bat on the floor by my bed, sprung up and started attacking the person on my bed. It was after the forth hit, I realized to things, One, it was Edward and Two, I was hitting him with a foam bat. Note to self, in the future, open your eyes before you swing the bat, and oh yeah, make sure the bat is metal! I sighed out loud, I'm Mucho Stupido.

We just stare at each other for a moment until Edward starts laughing his ass off, "Bel. . .Bella. . . Why Did you . . . Att. . . Attack me?" His face bright red from strain at the end, " and with a foam bat? Ooh, Scary!"

I Ignore him and ask, "Um… Why are you in my room?"

He ignored my question asking one of his own (after he is done laughing that is), "Why did you leave? I thought I told you this morning you and I would talk later. I assumed you knew that meant after school."

"Well, excuse me for freaking out a little, we both know in the same situation, you would worry yourself out." I said, more than a little indignant after the rough day I had, "And, I asked you a question, what are you doing here?"

"I was worried. And your mother let me in. I just need to see you."

This is it, I thought, the end of our 11 year friendship, "Its' ok. I know you don't love me." I said the tears fresh again. Geez, why does it feel like I've been crying all day? Oh right, maybe because I have been. Edward put a finger to my lips then, to silence me.

"Who ever said I didn't love you?" he asked looking very bewildered," Bella Marie, do you honestly not get how much I love you? You are my WORLD, the one thing that actually makes sense to me. I have loved you ever since our first kiss at 13. Remember?"

I stared at him in shock not really answering, just asking yet another question, "You mean you love me?"

"More than ANYTHING,"

"Then why didn't you just tell me?" I asked, "You have had more than two years!"

"So did you!" He rakes his hand through his thick hair, " I was scared, ok?"

I blush then closing my eyes and say softly, " So was I,"

All of the sudden I feel a light pressure on my face, Edward hands cradling it. "Bella, open your eyes," I flutter my eyelashes because he was so close, his nose touching mine and then our lips and then, BAM! Perfection. Our mouths were moving in sync, his arms wrapping around me making me feel safe, my hands in his hair. I let a out a soft moan as our tongues touch and he pulls away, flopping us on my bed.

Wow, what a very nice second kiss, WAY better then the first, I couldn't help thinking while we were kissing. When it was done we were both grinning like fools, Edward playing with my hair, if a stranger was to witness this seen of utter bliss the stranger would think Edward and I were demented.

"So…" I say after a minute," What does this all mean?"

"It means you are my girl. If you want to be that is," He said looking a happy and a little worried I would say no.

"Duh I want to be!" I couldn't help squealing out joyfully. He wrapped his arms around me and told me how happy he was and how beautiful I was. We talked a while more, about our future - we were certain we would have for a love like ours was rare to come by -, until we both fell asleep in each other's arms.

The End

_**SO what do you guys think? I've been working on it for a while and I love it. I hope u all will to. :D flamers welcome! If I get good feedback maybe ill continue. I don't know though. Have a nice life!**_

_**EClover1201**_


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